Monday, June 9, 2014

What is wrong with you, South India?

I sometimes randomly Google things to see what turns up. It's fun.

Last week, I Googled for 'South Indian Stud'. This is what turns up :

(Please click on all the pics in this post and view the larger images. Totally worth it.)





I mean, seriously? No Dr.Mr.Joseph Vijay Saar ? No Power Star of any sort? No Sidin Vadukut? Ridiculous.

To compare, I next Googled 'North Indian Stud'. Only marginally better, but better. At least one bona-fide stud, and two passable ones. I'll leave you to figure out which ones exactly those are.




North India - 1. South India - 0.

Next, as suggested by the admirable Devadittya Banerjee, I Googled an image search for 'Tamil'. Here's what I got :




Lots of pictures of chicks. One of Karthi. And suggested categories include 'Love Kavithai', 'Love Failure Kavithai', 'Love Letter' and 'Love Song'. 'Love Failure Kavithai' as an entire CATEGORY? WTF Tamil Nadu????

Surely only my home state couldn't be so pathetic. I needed to know. So I Googled for all the other three major South Indian languages.


Telugu again shows up only chicks, one random guy, and some suggested searches that all seem to be about something called 'Lanjalu'. The one colleague I asked for a translation assured me that it isn't something pleasant. Sigh.





Malayalam again stays with this pattern. Full chicks. But at least some balance is restored by Lalettan, Mamootty and some dude called Dileep. But no Sidin. Suggested categories indicate that Mallus dig something mysterious called 'Scrap'. Three of the categories are 'Scrap', 'Comedy Scrap' and 'Scraps Friendship' - whatever those mean.


So far, so good. I sighed in relief. Not only Tamil Nadu, but all other states are the same. Thank God.

And then something happened. I Googled for 'Kannada' : 




WTF??? It's all about the language! All the images show the script. The suggested categories are about the state - logo, Rajyotsava, and so on. Even the 'Love' here is 'Language Love'. The only image of that couple smooching is an aberration, a blemish on this beautiful search results page.

I was filled with a new respect for my current home.

But wait. Perhaps Karnataka is the exception. Surely, other Indian states will revert to the pattern established by Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam.

I Googled further.











Sigh.

Rest of India - 6. South India - 1. Thank you, Karnataka.

For what it's worth, I tried with other languages from all over the world as well.










Looks like it's just us.

WTF, South India ?

(Except Karnataka. You're okay).